Hi.
I'm going to make this quick. You probably aren't used to that on Ryan's blog, but I am. All I need to do is tell you one story for you to fully grasp his lack of charm.
A few months ago my boyfriend was to pick me up from the airport. Before my flight I told him that I would probably be hungry when I landed, and he said he would have food for me when I arrived. What a great boyfriend, right?
There are lots of places to get good junk food at the airport. So what does Ryan have for me when I arrive?
A ziploc bag full of sliced bread.
And when I say "full of bread" I mean it was probably full of bread when he left for the airport, but when I got there only 2 pieces were left.
Not a bagel from the deli. Not some fries from McDonalds. Not even a candy bar. Just two pieces of bread in a plastic bag like I am some pigeon he is going to feed at the park.
So charming.
P.P.S. If he does post this it's only because I told I wouldn't blow him until he stopped lying to the internets.
10 comments:
I'm going to try to find a way to make this positive for Ryan.
Was the bread two slices of some really awesome seven grain homemade meal in itself bread? No?
Never mind. Nobody likes being treated like a pigeon.
Maybe the slices were a metaphor for your kindred spirits -- a test, if you will, to see if you understood the depth of his passion for you. Judging from how poorly you reacted to this warm-hearted gesture, you might want to consider giving him daily bj'ers for the next 3 months before you even think about apologizing.
LMAO like a pigeon!!!! LMAO
HAHAHA... wow. Well, all debate about the charm involved aside I'm going to say a ziploc bag full of sliced bread is a little strange. But, we're dealing with a MAN here. Sometimes with men, we have to be very specific. You might have been better off saying, "Please have delicious junk food, like some fries or a deli sandwich, in hand immediately upon my arrival." Because the poor guy was probably TRYING to get it right with the bread.
No peanut butter? No jelly? What were you supposed to wash down this bread with?
Maybe he suffers from short term memory loss...a lot of boy friends do.
You might have forgot to mention to him that you were going low carb.
What kind of bread? Some really good bread doesn't need any accompaniment. Zucchini, Banana Nut, Multi-grain w/ flax seed & nuts.
But knowing his taste in denim shorts, prob not, eh?
I'm sorry, were you totally serious.
Ryan, I am ashamed of you. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you.
How about if she ever picks you up, she brings you an apple. I know how you feel about healthy things. You would dump her immediately.
surely the bread was for Ryan's signature dish, french toast?
he just hadn't thought through the need for the other ingredients
or a frypan
or electricity.
Just be glad you didn't have to spread butter on the bread with your finger!
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