What Happens When We Die?

I don't know what anyone else believes, but after I die what happens is my family comes to collect my belongings.

My brother immediately runs to grab any video games and CDs, but leaves disappointed when all he finds is Dance Dance Revolution and Bryan Adams Greatest Hits.

My mother will stand horror stricken at the sight of the sill moving big black vibrator on my coffee table (The Malcom X-Caliber).

My father will somehow fight through the stench of taint and mass of crusty tissues littering the floor to make it to my room where he will find under my bed a Dwarf, hog tied and covered in cranberry chutney. Upon releasing the dwarf my father will excalim,"Oh my god what is my son doing with a midget under his bed!?" This will send the dwarf into a fit of rage which will end with him smothering my father with his gigantic diaper ass screaming "Im not a midget! Im a dwarf!"

I think I love life.