This problem is not limited to only to her. Co-Workers, friends, parents, financial advisers, acquaintances, parole officers, etc., all fade into the background eventually. Their words ricochet off the side of my huge head as I start to wonder things such as how I would look in a fedora or if someone has already taken the woolly mammoth as it's national symbol.
I don't want to zone out when I am spoken to. I would like to say it's the fault of chronic ear abuse that started many years ago as a young Ryan pressed the headphones of his Walkman tightly to his skull so he wouldn't miss one note of "Armageddon' It". I would like to say that I have conversational ADD. It is more likely, however, that I am disgustingly self-absorbed.
I want to pay full attention, most of the time. I feel that I would have better and more meaningful conversations. My overall knowledge would increase, and I would get yelled at less.
For those of you who would like to pay less attention when certain people are talking to you, I will share a list of useful, but mindless, refrains you can spit out every so often during a conversation to pretend like you are paying attention.
There are the obvious ones such as "yeah," "Uh huh, "I know," "really?" and "That's weird."
You also have more advanced options such as "I know, right," "No way," "Are you serious, "Are you sure about that," "No No. You're right. You're right," "Ummm...I don't know about that one," "That's something you have to do some thinking about," and "They really need to cut that out."
Laughing can also work, but like the advanced options should only be attempted once you have become better skilled at talking without listening. Also, never use "You don't say." No one says that anymore and will blow up your spot in a jiffy.
I take zero responsibility for any failure with these phrases. You may just use them wrong and there are some out there who actually pay attention and will know what you are doing right away.
7 comments:
That's something you have to do some thinking about.
Personally, it's more like a Charlie Brown special.
I'm standing there, trying to listen, however all I hear is...
Wah, wah, wah wah wah...
Now, I just start saying, "Wah wah wah" whenever my hubby is talking and I'm starting to tune out.
You gotta do it while moving your hand open and closed like a sock puppet talking, "Wah wah, wah wah wah".
You get the visual picture, hopefully your girlfriend has a sense of humour.
Ah, but when a question gets lobbed at you, all bets are off. You'll be fumbling around for something to say like Woody Allen at a Korean Grammar school.
I solve the problem by plugging my ears and humming when I am in the company of others.
Ryan!! I've been told that I'm an excellent listener, and most of the time I do listen well. However, I have perfected the facial expression necessary to feign active listening when I'm really thinking about buying some new shoes or wondering if I might have some weird undiagnosed syndrome. If I get asked a question (which you can always tell that someone asked you a question because their eyes get a little wider and their eyebrows raise ever so slightly) but wasn't really listening, my standard answer is, "Hmm...what do you mean?" Most people will rephrase the question, even if they now think you might be an idiot.
I usually tune out whenever Jay talks about computers, internet, cell phones, or video games. As long as it works, I don't care why it works.
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