Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is also my birthday.Besides my obvious Jesus complex, I know what you're thinking, "So close to Christmas! You must get screwed big time!" Well I am here to set the record straight.
Yes, I totally get jipped for both my birthday and Christmas.
I would either get Birthday cards with "Merry Christmas!" stuck in on the card or Christmas Cards with "and a Happy Birthday" snuck(this word looks so not right to me) in somewhere. But no matter which route my well wisher chose, I could count on one thing. There would be an amount of money inside appropriate enough for only one gift giving celebration.
I don't want to sound like an ungrateful ass or anything, but 25 dollars inside a combo card means they are giving me $12.50 for each. It's only common human decency to give someone an even dollar amount for their birthday! Cheap jerks!
As bad as the money situation was, the gifts were even more depressing. Nobody likes getting some crappy snowman covered sweater for their birthday or Xmas, but half a crappy snowman covered sweater for each is even worse.
The absolute low point came the year my parents got me a new pair of sneakers. On my birthday I got the left one. When I woke up on Christmas morning I received the other. There are few things more pathetic looking than a young Ryan bobbing up and down as he approaches his birthday cake to blow out the candles wearing one lousy gay ass British Knights hightop.
The cake is always the highlight of my birthday. I would have to share it with any other relatives who were born within 3 months of Christmas so there was never enough room to put names on the cake. Instead it just said "YAY!" However I do loves me some ice cream cake and I can't fucking wait have my yearly make out session with Cookie Puss or Fudgie the Whale.
I wish someone would get me a Bidet for my BDay.....This picture is so disturbing.
8 comments:
Christmas Birthdays suck. I always thought I was lucky, my birthday was in July. However, my daughter's birthday is one day after mine. Although everyone thought that was wonderful, guess what? My birthday is now completely eclipsed by my daughters. Last year, the cake had my daughter's name exisetly sculped in icing by a baker. Then at the bottom, my name was added with the supermarket bought decorating kit. I had been forgotten when the cake was ordered, and my mother ordered it!
dude, what a post. I feel for you. My nephews were born Dec 21 and 23. However they are spoiled rotten, they get too much.
bitch bitch bitch
im getting you half a yamaka
you big jew.
do the math- thats a quarter present for each occasion fuckface!
i love you
Ryan Happy Birthday (tomorrow) and I am so sorry you get so screwed every year. My boyfriends' birthday is on the 12th, and I always spend too much on it so there is no money for his Christmas presents. But I really dont see how that's my problem ya know?
British Knights...oh hell no. At least they were LA Gear like mine!
If I lived by you wasn't somewhat afraid of you, I would totally throw you the biggest birthday party ever with muppets and elephant rides and space tigers .....
but, oh well. Merry Christmas you little poop pile!
xoxo
Tomorrow is my birthday too! It's not so bad when you're an only child. I've already received and opened my birthday/Christmas present. An iPod! I love it. That's all I wanted too.
Happy Birthday Ryan! I would have posted this earlier but I sort of forgot today was our birthday.
Oh, that blows monkey ass. One shoe for each day? Boo.
screw fudgie the whale, you know your fucked when you get a Dumpy-the-Pumpkin cake from Carvel. Who comes up with that crap anyway?
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