Is it strange and uncool for a supposedly grown man to go outside in this day and age wearing a Bart Simpson t-shirt?I found one the other day while a team of Mexicans was shoveling my bedroom. I don't remember how I came to possess this thing. It can't be hanging around from when young tikes actually wore Bart Simpson shirts because it's a men's large.
To make things worse, it isn't even your classic "Don't Have a Cow Man," or a hilarious "Underachiever and Proud of it" t-shirt. It's some extremely unfunny Christmas themed one with Bart wearinga Santa hat and holding his hands on his hips like an extremely prissy gay man. Next to him are the words, "THERES ONLY ONE FAT GUY THAT BRINGS US PRESENTS AND IT AIN'T SANTA" I don't want people to think I support his constant Homer Bashing.
Now I might actually wear that shirt out in public as a joke and to be hit with flying objects, but there is one shirt I have that I wouldn't be caught dead in.
I have a shirt with "Staten Island, NY" emblazoned across the front of it. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't live in fucking Staten Island!!!!(!!!) What kind of a douchebaggy jackass walks around wearing a shirt with the place he lives on it? Even if you're a tourist you wait until you get home to wear the shirt you bought. Everytime I'm in Manhattan and see some stupid anal faced tourist walking around with an "I <3 NY" shirt on I get the urge to throw him in a dumpster and take his wallet. If anyone besides me owned a Staten Island shirt, I'd do the same to them and call them a Staten Island Fairy.Everytime I see this shirt in the drawer or on the floor (Mad rhyme skills son) I feel like puking up my PB&J. I can't throw it out because the garbage men would find it and knock on my door to make fun of me. Then I'd wind up getting mad and saying, " You guys aren't garbage men, you're garbage JERKS!!" Then they'd beat the bejesus out of me because the proper term is sanitation engineers.
What?
I didn't post this at 2:30! Stupid Blog!
11 comments:
Just so you know my friend and I were talking on the phone about how we think you might be our long lost brother. You are hilarious! I know I say that all the time but i mean it this time.
:) Shirt Tails!?! I used to have the panda !
hey, can i have that shirt?
i have the habit of doing things to make people hate me or feel bad for me. when i lived in nj i bought an EDISON NJ shirt from the shoprite down the street.
i probably wore it to highschool too.
so thats why i had no friends.
HELP HUMANZEE!
You rock dude!!! However, I wear t-shirts that say mission beach on them and I live in mission beach. But I am so cool, I can get away with it. Plus it is really tight and I think that helps.
You have a good point. If my man boobs weren't sagging maybe I could get away with it.
Here in FL, if someone is wearing a FLORIDA T-shirt we just welcome them and then show them to the retirement home.
Here in FL, if someone is wearing a FLORIDA T-shirt we just welcome them and then show them to the retirement home.
How about a Lemon heads t-shirt? is that ok to wear? I used to want a NYFD t-shirt...it was right after 911. Thinking it would be "cool" and I'd show my support...then I realized it's just not. Plain and simpley NO!
Don't let the "garbage jerks" push you around. If they make fun of your shirts, then they weren't very good sanitation engineers to begin with. Just do what I do. Throw a few porno mags in there too, and they'll forget all about your trendy Staten Island shirt.
hey thanks for making me part of the step family, I am so honored!
HUMANZEE
Oh that is soooo gross!!!! I clicked on your name. That's soooo gross!!!
THEY'RE OLD!!!!!
I've lucked out. I've never seen a Lancaster CA t-shirt. The desert just isn't that cool.
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