Who are the people in your neighborhood?

In case it isn't common knowledge, there are some serious wackjobs in New York City. They are the delicious bacon bits in the salad that is Gotham. Sure a lot of them smell like dog shit in an old shoe, but being mental makes you sweat!

My earliest memory of one of the colorful folk happened when I was about 8 years old. I was traveling to work with my father one morning because I had the day off from school and no one in the neighborhood wanted to babysit me because of my problems with excessive gas. I remember sitting next to my dad on the subway being very excited. I loved going into work with my father because I was allowed to play with the copy machine and make deadly paper clip whips.

My excitement quickly turned to confusion when a nutbag opened the door to our car and stepped in. He was a black dude who looked to be in his late 40s. His jacket was brown, but that could have been because of the filth it has been accumulating for god knows how long. Some manner of cane was in his right hand as he limped forward with strange "Richard Pryor acting cool" movements.

He stopped and addressed the train.

"I LIKE TO USE CONDOMS WHEN I FUCK!"

Being eight at the time, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about when he screamed and slurred this, but it still managed to scare the shit out of me and the majority of the people in the car. The train soon stopped and my father grabbed me by the arm and yanked me forward until we were three cars ahead of our original one. I can't remember ever seeing people file out of some where that fast besides my high school drama class production of "Ernie Hudson: The Musical"

Looking back on it, he was much smarter and saner than I have been at times. Just ask my 11 children.