Monday, October 31

Halloweiner

When I was younger Halloween was my favorite holiday. Not only did I get to dress up and act like a mental patient, but I got all kinds of candy for it. Actually a costume covering the face was pretty mandatory around here. If any of the neighbors recognized us as the kids who put smoke bombs in their mailbox, broke the windows of their attic and threw acorns/apples/chestnuts/itchy balls/rocks/snowballs/fireworks at them, we would have all wound up screaming and spitting out bloody razor blades.

Sadly, once I hit my teens the Halloween experience started to change. Don't get me wrong. I was all for the shaving cream and egg hijinx that went on as I got older, but the quality of my costumes began to sharply decline. I wound up with some of the most pathetic costumes ever.These included:

A Not at all scary Jason - Laziness was a big problem for my costumes when I got older. The first example of this was when I went trick or treating with just a hockey mask over my face. I didn't even bother to change the clothes I had worn to school earlier in the day. Somehow people weren't scared by a 5'1" tall kid in a hockey mask wearing Wranglers and a Bugle Boy shirt.

A WWI Veteran/Alien - Again, pure laziness here. I had this old Gas Mask from WWI that my neighbor had given me. It had a tube from the nose part hangin down to a canister of air. It looked like I had a trunk. As with the previous "costume" I just stuck this on my head and walked around in my normal clothes, but this time I spiced it up a bit! And I put this strange looking eye that I got for 50 cents at the drug store on the forehead. I didn't get much candy that year as the Gas Mask Wearing Alien in Dockers.

The Headless Trick or Treater - This was the ultimate low point in my Halloween history and a highpoint in the vast history of my laziness. I am ashamed to even talk about it. I didn't buy any kind of costume. I didn't make any effort at all. All I did was pull my oh so cool Starter Jacket up over my head when I got to someone's door, and then after they went back in I would pull it down until the next house. I want to lay down in traffic every time I think about it.

After those three I pretty much stopped dressing up for Halloween . I'd like to get back into the Halloween spirit, but I don't have the most festive group of friends around here. But when I do dress up for Halloween again, I will put thought and effort into it.......as long as I get some some fuckin Kit Kats

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