If I were to ask you lovely people to describe me in one word you would probably say something along the lines of artistic, bohemian, sophisticated, or gassy. So it should be quite the surprise to any of you that I went to a poetry reading for only the first time last night.
My internet pal/big time poet type person, Joe Massey, had trekked across the country by bus in a reverse manifest destiny kind of way to participate in this reading that took place in Brooklyn.
The reading was definitely an interesting experience. As someone who thinks he knows everything about which he knows nothing (what the?) I had some expectations of how this event would be. I figured there would be a bulk of people with super trendy thick rimmed Clark Kent glasses, at least one slightly balding white guy with an afro, some kind of pissy gay man, and a bevy of good looking women with really odd looking boyfriends. This assumption was pretty spot on.
I also didn't expect it to be all that stimulating to me apart from Joe's reading. This was very wrong. Between the soda machine I was leaning on for 45 minutes vibrating my genitalia to the brink of ejaculation, and the second poets use of the phrases "Hammer My mammary Glands" and "Mop up my meat," I was indeed quite stimulated.
Joe, whose livejournal is Mr.Tong Bliss, started off by making a noise which sounded like a pterodactyl sighing. Unlike the poet who read before him who had one 18 minute long garbage poem, Joe read numerous short form poems. And unlike the first poet of the evening who would preface reading one of her poems with some tidbit such as, "I wrote this after my brother died at a young age," Joe would tell a tale of punching out his publisher then sucking him off and "jacking each other in the ass with police batons." I luckily was standing at the front and facing the crowd so I got to enjoy the huge range of facial expression that came and went as he spoke.
All in all I had a very good time. I laughed, met some new people, drank a grape soda and heard some good poetry. Yeah that's right I enjoyed the poems dude. I'm all about that shit. I like Joe's poems because a lot of what he does, especially in his latest chapbook Bramble, is to take something small, simple and usually unnoticed by most people, such as a leaf blowing across a street, and makes you take notice the beauty of it. He makes the ordinary extraordinary....
What the fuck am I talking about? Even I didn't buy that stuff coming from me. I feel weird now.
Penis vaginaTom Selleck in a Kayak.
Much better.
come together, right now (literally)
3 years ago
47 comments:
Haha! This is great! I'm glad you had a good time, man, and it was awesome to finally meet you. I'll see you again in June.
Joe
You should have brought one of your humor posts and read it to the crowd. You know you're thinking about it.
PS - I always knew Tom Selleck had a penis-vagina.
If I went up in front of that crowd I would have passed out into someones mochachino
Ryan grow some balls! You're hilarious. And who gives a rats ass what people think. I am cool and I think your the funniest of all the Golden Girls.
Good to see you didn't totally jump off the brink there.
I too think you're "the funniest of all the Golden Girls."
Lol. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
Seriously though, Ryan, bud, next poetry reading you get up there and drop it like it's hot. Or something akin to that.
I've tried writing poems and they all always wind up being about masturbation, sandwiches or a combination of the two.
"The Masturbatory Sandwitches" sounds like some kind of fringe death metal group.
Whenever I sit down to right some poetry I only get that far.
It's nice that you finally came out of the closet.
I was in Texas a week after Joe's reading, I'm very upset...we could have had hot sex while eating pizza!
WAIT!! You mean there's poetry out there that *isn't* about sandwiches OR masturbation?
Oh, you must mean that new fangled, hippie-crap that's about "wraps" & masturbation. I swear, this low-carb craze is now turning poetry upside-down too.
Everyone make a note. If Ryan ever offers to make you a sandwich, gracefully say NO THANKS.
Reading this blog is the only culture I ever get. And I am Bohemian. Literally, from Bohemia NY.
Jay over at blog Portland came back ... now it's your turn Ryan.
Seriously, hope things are well.
Penis vagina Tom Selleck in a Kayak.
I think you just invented a new art form. Its not a Hiku. Let's call it a Whatthe.
dude this post is over a month old. i come back to visit and this is what i get?
OK, you win. I couldn't stay away from blogging longer than you. Are you happy now? Come back already.
All my poems begin the same way:
"There once was a boy from Nantucket..."
Tom Selleck's penis in a kayak.
...No? Okay, nevermind.
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