Thursday, August 7

Could it beee.....

I have no recollection of mentioning this little tidbit in the past, but occasionally when I am in the need of a little extra cash and have free time after work or on the weekends, I have another job. I know you are all very funny and thinking , "Ha Ha. Probably a gay hooker." Well I am flattered that you think my buttocks look durable enough for such a demanding occupation, but this is an incorrect guess.


The job of which I speak is that of professional usher at a Broadway theater(re). At this job my responsibilities include handing out Playbills, escorting or sometimes merely pointing people to their seats, and also wanting to make love in dis club.


I have been doing this pretty irregularly for about a year and a half now, but about a month ago while trying not to fall asleep during the show, I opened my eyes long enough to notice something strange on the carpet. You tell me what you see.



That's right. You see a Carpet Satan, or at the very least a carpet demon. If you can't quite feel my Rorschach here, I will help you out.




See what I mean now, non-believers? Notice the Lucifery face and horn region. Also take note of the classic oddly bending devil goat legs and hooves. He is well defined abs like all standard depictions of Beelzebub do. A crown is affixed atop his dome to signify he is the King of Hell/Prince of Darkness. I'm not so sure about the wings though. I'm sure the devil could have wings if he wanted, but they make me think this could also be a tribute to Sardo Numspa.

If you can make out anything different, please share it with us. or you know, just tell me I am right and devote your eternal soul to Satan.


I hope to be posting more often. I'll do it until I run out of things to say.

8 comments:

Diane said...

I totally see it, and I only pray I didn't spill any of my 10 dollar glass of pinot grigio on him . . .

Crystal said...

i am pretty sure those are my ovaries + my vaginal canal. except mine are pink and not red and don't have a golden halo.

Jay Ferris said...

I saw it right away too. Yet I still haven't found any snack food that looks enough like Jesus to sell on eBay.

Em said...

It kind of looks like satan... or a mosquito...

Amanda said...

Or Satan taking a dump?! Eek... scary carpet. LOL

Christie said...

I didn't see it at first, but once you so kindly pointed it out, I saw it.

And for the record, I would never, ever step one foot in that theater again. That's creepy.

Sassy Blondie said...

Ryan!! I totally saw it!! Creepy...
Be careful out there...

Effortlessly Average said...

Looked to me like a uterus and some ovaries, but that may be because I'm deprived.