Sunday, September 14

Conshirto in D minor

On the way home from work one day my brother and I had a humorous experience.

I met him on the Manhattan side of the Staten Island Ferry terminal and purchased some Starburst(original flavor, of course) for the ride back to our island paradise.

Recently, in said terminal, there have been different musical performers each day, helping to make the wait between boats a bit more enjoyable and artsy. On this particular day there was a man playing the violin very well. When he played my mind drifted to a far off land where I flew amongst the clouds in a basket strapped to a giant seagull.

I was brought back to Earth by the announcement that the boat was now loading through door number 2. As we passed by the violinist, my brother noticed that he was wearing a shirt that can best be described as "completely ridiculous." It looked like the kind of shirt a 12 year old would wear to a Junior High dance in 1977. Being the solid brother that he is, he quickly turned to me and said "Ry. Check out that guy's shirt. It is the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

Now my brother has spent many many hours with an mp3 player plugged into his head at high volume, so this comment was not said with as much stealth as he thought. He quickly realized this when the violinist stopped in the middle of a song and yelled toward us

"VIVALDI WORE THIS SHIRT!"

This bizarre retort stunned the two of us long enough to delay our fleeing onto the ferry at high speeds for a good 5 seconds.

Being the dolt I am, I Google image searched Vivaldi when I got home and in no portrait did I ever see him wearing anything resembling a leftover from the wardrobe of Eight is Enough.

And just because I am obsessed, here are some recent keyword searches that led to this location.
"ted danson...you make me feel like..."
"movie machines brimley"
"what does it feel like to mug someone"
"why does my pussy smell"

6 comments:

Diane said...

This is why u need a camera phone

Unfortunately, my father passed away in 1977. Now that is unfortunate on many, many levels, one of which is that in all the final family photographs he is wearing the garish shirts and leisure suits that I personally helped him pick out.

Em said...

haha... Vivaldi wore this shirt... that's funny.

Jay Ferris said...

Did you ever see that Seinfeld where George bought Jon Voigt's car? I'm guessing it was something like that.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Dude, my bad about that last google search, but hey, at least you got some blog fodder. And HEY !! Small world right? :P

Effortlessly Average said...

"Vivaldi wore this shirt!"

To which I'd have responded, "Yeah? Did you at least wash it before you took it from him?"

Sassy Blondie said...

Ryan, I'm disturbed by a couple of things in this post.

1. You live on Staten Island (all smelly garbage jokes should be inserted here)

2. You speak of your brother as if he's a punk teenager, which leads me to the next thing...

3. I'm beginning to think you are living at home with Mom and Dad...again. Of course, I'm thinking you are one of the so-called "Millenials", so it's pretty common these days.

4. I wonder if the word "douche" has appeared in one of your posts, thus causing the last search item to bring some poor bitch to your site...

5. I don't really care about all the above...I still love ya! :)