How Can She Slap?

I saw the following video recently. It's been getting big apparently. It is form some Indian reality/game show where contestants are supposed to be reliving their first year at college by getting insulted. I don't get it either. You really need to see only the first minute.



So this poor bastard yelling "How can She slap? How can she slap me?" over and over got me thinking. The slap from the woman was not supposed to happen. She apparently had gotten angry at their lack of reaction which resulted in the initial slap. That being said, the return bitch slap was his immediate reflex response to being hit. You can tell his brain wasn't in control because of the "Oooohh shit" look on his face after he smacks her.

This got me thinking. Are there any times where I would hit a woman?

Now we're going to push aside the obvious here. Situations where a woman is putting my life or my dick in mortal danger are not included here. My penis is to Me what Israel is to an Israeli. What I have may not be impressive compared to others, but it means a lot to me and if anyone messes with it I will come at them with deadly force.

These are the situations I came up with, where feel I would hit a woman and be ok with it.

1. Lady Cat Burglar - I imagine that if some woman in a skin tight cat suit came climbing through a window of my home, and I just happened to wake up and find her, things would get violent. First I imagine a tussle would ensue. Lamps would break. Books would fall off the shelves as we wrestled each other. Eventually when I over powered her and pinned her down she would try to seduce me. This is a very smart move by her because all Lady Cat Burglars are super hot. I think it somehow lends to their stealth. So I would fall for her trick at first, but as soon as I saw she was holding a candlestick behind her back to whack me in the noggin with, I would give her the ol' 1-2 combination, and make a citizens arrest without feeling very bad about it.

2. Lady Ninja - This is very similar to Lady Cat Burglar except there would be a longer, more karate filled fight. Also lady ninja would be equally hot, but more exotic and probably have some kind of crazy scar on her face from her ninja work. After a long display of skill I would eventually defeat her with a deadly palm strike followed by a spinning wheel kick. I would feel pretty OK about it too.

3.The Buttonhole - Sometimes during the course of...intercourse, a woman may get an idea. She may think it is a good idea, and that her man will be glad she had it. She will think, "I've read on the Internet that guys love this and have incredible orgasms." This is the kind of thinking that may lead to a fist fight. I do not wish to feel like I am being probed. I do not care how many of your friends have told you that guys love it. I have told my girlfriend as much. I think what I said was, "If I feel a finger wandering into a neighborhood where he doesn't belong, I will stand up and slug you in the gut." I would probably feel bad about this afterward, but still justified.

That's all I can think of. What's even more ridiculous about this whole post, is that if I was ever in any situation where a woman started hitting me, I would probably curl up into a defensive ball and try to roll towards a downward slope so I could escape.

I feel like this post may come back to haunt me one day.