I apologize for the foul nature of this post.
A scant few minutes ago I got a call of nature and got up from my desk and made my way to the lavatory. it is usual for me to pass water around this time due to the one and a half liters of grape soda I enjoy as part of my balanced breakfast. I turn the corner and begin to pass through the doorway of the john when I run into a wall of horror.
I may have mentioned this before, but I avoid taking a dump at work like I avoid ex-girlfriend's facebook profiles. Many people in my office do not share this quality though. And one of these many people decided that today was a day to smear their shit all over the toilet. Someone who seemed to be on a strict diet of mushy peas and paste.
It's not as if it some inconsiderate bastard Jackson Pollocked the inside of the bowl and failed to clean it up with a handy toilet brush. Oh no. The seat was up and there was human dung all over the rim of said toilet. It honestly looked like some maniac had sat his buttcrack down on the rim on the toilet and then slide along it like some kind of Ass Monorail.
Naturally I turned around and ran down the hallway to make it back to my desk fast enough that no one would think I had time to commit what I can only describe right now as an act of terrorism. I will update as events unfold.
I can't believe you made it to the end of this.
11 comments:
I've heard of monkeys throwing their poo, but this is ridiculous.
HAHAHA... an act of terrorism.
Too soon ended. And well told.
The butt cheeks seized up, did they? No longer needed to go? The body's amazing that way, isn't it? Nothing like seeing the inside of gas station bathroom stall(or at work, in your case) all smeared with shit to make you realize you can hold it till you get home. Poof. No longer need to go.
Ass monorail... awesome visual!
thankfully, i had eaten prior to reading this post.
what would happen if you sneaked into the Ladies and used those facilities instead?
This post is worthless without pictures.
ASS MONORAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA
That. was. disgusting.
Why are mens rooms always so foul?
Perhaps grape soda didn't agree with the gentleman who previously used the facilities prior to your discovery...
funniest post i've ever read.. lol
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