Monday, January 12

Why Do I have a Mirror Anyway?

The other day I was parading around in a state of moderate naked as I am known to do from time to time, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Now, I haven't ever considered myself what scientists refer to as "physically attractive," but ho-lee fuck! This experience has given me  some helpful knowledge as well as a smattering of PTSD. I will now share to show how much I care.

There is nothing more ridiculous looking than a grown man wearing only a t-shirt.

Picture it right now. I will wait.
...
...
...
...
See what I mean? 

It doesn't even matter how in shape your physical form is. You can have a chronic need for scotch tape because you are so fucking ripped, but if you are wearing a t-shirt and no pants you will always look like a 3 year old searching for his mother to brag about using the potty by himself.

Socks probably make it worse. 

Things get flipped turned upside down when this situation is applied to women. Pants are the enemy in this case.

This was lame, but I had to write it so I wasn't the only one thinking about bottomless men. You're welcome Diane.

11 comments:

Crystal said...

you quoted fresh prince.

you are THE KING.

Diane said...

"but if you are wearing a t-shirt and no pants you will always look like a 3 year old searching for his mother to brag about using the potty by himself."

Best.Line.Ever.

p.s. what color socks?

Chris Wilson said...

Dude at our community pool likes to parade around in his tommy bahama button up with his speedos on. Sometimes the shirt covers the speedo completely so you might think he's not wearing anything. Sometimes the tommy bahama comes off and he's sporting a Jay Ferris hair suit with his speedo, but he leaves his short white socks and dexter's on. What a trainwreck.

Becky said...

Your completely right, tell me your socks were black!

Jay Ferris said...

I call this Daffy Duck syndrome, and you're spot on; bad for men, good for women.

And to Chris -- WTF? It's been a good 6 months since you last saw me with no pants on.

Ryan said...

Black socks are very bad. White looks insane as well.

Ryan said...

I tried both for testing purposes.

Diane said...

Argyles. I recommend Argyles.

Catastrophe Waitress said...

you should try it with one of those tight-fitting retro t's.
nice.
no socks though.
that's just wrong.

Sassy Blondie said...

Awww...how cute!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that visual. I don't need a cold shower now. ;)