That is to say, I am physically still in the same exact place I was 2 months ago when I was semi-regularly dropping a steaming pile onto this thing called a blog. Mentally it seems this is not the case.
There have been plenty of occassions since my previous entry where I have thought of or blurted out something I thought would be worth typing out for 6 other people to enjoy and get a laugh out of, but I fail to make note of them and they quickly fade from my brain as they are replaced by masturbatory fantasies involving members of the WPIX Morning News Team. Oh Tiffany McElroy, you always keep me up between 5 and 6 AM.
So yeah, it has been difficult to find the elusive combination of motivation and material that fuels me to stop playing browser games at my desk for an hour. In the past it may have manifested itself as the tag team of my never-ending lust for attention and a story of how I ruined a chance at having sex by sucking on a girl's nipple for 10 minutes too long. Currently I only seem to have one or the other. I may feel the unrelenting need for approval from strangers overtake me, but I lack a subject. On another day I may encounter a strange subway derelict who seems to get his jollies by farting on the bare legs of other passengers, but at the same time have coma-like brain patterns. I got no chemistry.
My girlfriend has been very encouraging in trying to get me to post more often, and I appreciate that very much. However she refuses to allow me to start dating which I believe would definitely bring me a wealth of self-embarrassment that i would gleefully share with all y'all. Actually she said I could start dating as long as she could also. I refused this offer based on it's obvious high levels of unfairness. If I go on a date I will wind up wearing pants with a hole in the crotch or casually mention how I used to show my dick on the internet all the time back in the day. If my girlfriend were to go on a date she would probably meet someone very mature who doesn't find everlasting discomfort from tucking in a shirt and will unhook her bra quickly and without self-congratulatory cheering.
That's all I got.
7 comments:
How about the two of you try to arrange a three-way via craigslist? That would surely satisfy your need for blog fodder, as well as her desire to see you with other women.
Don't listen to Jay. He has no idea what he is talking about.
I think talking about your love of jean shorts is always hilarious.
Welcome back SG. I was certain you had a run in with Bernie Goetz, trying to relieve him of his screwdriver.
i wondered whether you'd been cheating on us with another blog on the side. i thought of hiring a private detective to see whether it was true, even if the news was bad - if it turned out you were living some kind of seedy little on-the-side affair.
luckily you've made a reappearance - otherwise we'd have had to take the next step - a couples blog therapy intervention. with electric shock treatment.
does this mean you're back?
or are you trying to stick to only posting twice a year?
It seems there are many "regulars" that have lacked either the time or the sentiment to blog it out. I guess you could be the Halley's Comet of bloggers, eh? Then people would REALLY look forward to a post.
But oh how I've missed you... xoxo
Ryan - I admire that you think you must have an actual thought or topic to blog, but if you've read my blog, you know that's not the case.
By the way - your girlfriend rocks
I too thought you'd run off to another blog taking only the cool kids *sniff*
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