I Have Diabetes

So I'm not dead. That's good?

Those of you that read my post from yesterday that I made before going to the doctor will know that I began suffering from a bout with dizziness since late Monday afternoon. In response to this post, my internet friend Jay of Genius...Pending made a very astute guess as to what was causing my dizziness. He suggest it could be a sign of Diabetes.

Immediately this clicked in my head as a correct diagnosis for two reasons. The first, as Jay mentioned, is my atrocious diet. My diet consists mainly of meat, bread and candy. Many times all at once. The only vegetables I will eat are corn and potatoes, and every time I tell this to someone who is preparing to verbally bludgeon me for my eating habits, I am told that these two don't even really count as vegetables. I can only imagine this is because they taste good. Shortly before I felt the first woozy feeling on Monday, I had partaken in a bag of Gummi Bears. They really are silent killers.

The second, and bigger, reason I have diabetes is my unrelenting verbal hammering of Wilford Brimley. And yes, I added in the word "verbal" after rereading that sentence. For about 3 or 4 years now I have used the actor turned spokesman to garner countless laughs from friends and strangers alike. I have done dead on impressions of him saying foul and ungodly things in the voice mails of friends. I have tapped the Brimley well here on this blog ages ago (2005? Holy Crap). So now after all this, Karma has reared it's ugly head and bit me right in the... organ that produces insulin... I bet that low life oatmeal pusher is laughing his soup strainer off right now.

So it was a rough visit to the doctor yesterday. As if the bad news wasn't enough the guy was kind of an asshole. Whenever I would ask him about what steps I need to take to change my life to live with my disease he would look at me in a very condescending manner and tell me that I don't have diabetes, and my dizziness is being caused by fluid in my head. Telling me that I am just congested.

Obviously this made me quite upset. Not only was he ignoring everything I was telling him about MY body, but "fluid in my head?" As in Water on the brain? As in the guy was calling me mentally challenged? I won't stand for this kind of treatment, so I squatted down and ambled out of there proclaiming, "I HAVE DIABETES BUT I AM STILL A HUMAN BEING!"

Discriminating against a person because they have a disease is sick and wrong. Don't do it people.