Last week it was made very clear to me that lying is wrong. I always knew it wasn't the nicest thing, but the evil of it is now etched into the folds of my mind.
I have always been pretty free with the lying. Whether it be tiny white lies like, "Yes those are Bugle Boy Jeans I'm wearing" or big ones like, "No I have definitely been going to all my classes Dad" they have always been quick to come out of my mouth.
Now that I have been shown the error of my ways, I feel a great amount of guilt. I must rid myself of this burden by confessing things here which I have lied about and swear to never do it again. And away we go!
"About seven and a half"
Just getting the obvious out of the way quickly.
"Yeah John, I saw Moonraker, but it was a while ago."
I didn't really see Moonraker at all. I said it was a while ago to cover up my total lack of knowledge about what it was about.I don't even know why I lied about this.
"Oh hey. I just got back from the gym."
No I didn't. I was in my house all day eating leftover birthday cake.
"I'm sorry! It was that earthquake. It threw me off! I know where it's supposed to go!"
There was no earthquake. It was bad aim. And I really wasn't sorry.
"I have no idea where that Bryan Adams Greatest Hits CD came from"
It came from f.y.e. where I bought it, and when the feeling's right I'm gonna run all night. I'm gonna run to you.
"The last book I read was On the Road by Jack Kerouac"
The last book I read was Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel.
"Sorry I'm late. The bus broke down on the way to the ferry."
The bus didn't break down. I'm late because as I was on the ferry I realized I didn't have any underwear on, and went home to get some because I was paranoid this would be the day someone decided to run up and pants me.
"I got rid of all my jean shorts."
I hate myself
This is going to be tougher than I thought.
come together, right now (literally)
3 years ago
13 comments:
So, it's really 8?
You can keep the jean shorts so long as you make a solemn vow to only wear them while painting.
So what you are saying is that you can be trusted to tell a lie when the truth would serve you better?
And Bryan Adams said it best, "Please forgive me, I know not what I do..."
7.5 huh?...
How long is your penis?
1. i want things etched in the folds of my mind.
2. will you marry me? because i don't think i've ever heard ANYONE else EVER reference frog and toad.
3. you're a Never Nude? yes. I know. i know more than you'll NEVER KNOW.
Heh. That's funny.
I'd have to add, "It's so nice to see you!" to my list. That one slips out again and again....
Ha! Hilarious post.
Moonraker. Lol.
And, yeah, let's just not go out with the jean shorts. Seriously man, this is an intervention!
And I had to look up the Frog and Toad books. Guess who is Lobel's son-in-law? That's right, Cousin Larry.
Moonraker. Lol.
I still love those books. Frog and Toad really were friends....*sigh*
diane - If I measure from my asshole sure.
Sassy - Bryan Adams was really the voice of a generations wasn't he.
Rev - more like... 7.5? Huh?!
Dyck - I can penetrate a cheerio
I-Rec - Yes. Frog and Toad was the first book I ever read. I am glad you too know the burden of being a Never Nude. We are few, but we suffer greatly.
Princess - Yeah it's very easy to throw lies out there, but ones like that can't hurt, can they?
V- That's so weird but makes total sense because Cousin Larry starred in the Broadway show based on Frog and Toad. Weird!!
Sassy - The best of.
Good call man. I was sooooo planning on pantsing you that day.
Did you save me any left over birthday cake? We could eat it together and listen to a little Bryan Adams. Oh Bryan... little does he know that (Everything I Do) I Do It For Bryan.
I like your blog, by the way.
It's not the length, it's not the size, it's how many time you make it rise.
Crap, now you've got me lying.
ahhhhhhhhh...
so this is where all that teasing about the jean shorts come from!
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