Monday, July 2

A Tour de Force

The sun is shining, the people are bustling and the jackhammers are jackhammering. Tis another wondrous and magical summer day in the city.
As usual I spent the morning outside on patrol. Keeping my eyes peeled for happenings that are transpiring. I figured I would take some photographs with my mobile cellular phone and share them with you for it is easy and I don't have to write very much.

This is how I commute to work. It is my sweet ass 2007 limited edition baby blue Faggio. I had to have it shipped up via truck from Vice City, but man oh man was it worth it. So what if it takes me 3 and a half hours to commute? I look so stylin' riding this bad boy, the more time spent on it the better. Oh and it's completely safe for me to leave it outside on the sidewalk like that. Everyone around here knows better than to mess with ol Ry-Dawg.



These construction of two buildings cause me much concern. I think we all remember that ancient Celtic prophecy we had to read back in elementary school that said, "When the spires are completed and reach up into the heavens, Orchulaibhaile the Red, lord of the clouds and all things ginger, shall reign down his freckled fury upon man for his effrontery and hubris."

I have dropped off countless letters into this mailbox and have yet to receive any sex.

OR
One of the fastest growing problems in this city are clandestine midget BJ booths.

You can imagine my shock and dismay as I walk down 37th St. and see there standing completely naked in a window my ex-girlfriend Susan. Our break up was difficult on her, but I had no idea she would sink so low as to put herself on display like some dutch whore. She just stood there staring off into space, not even acknowledging I was there. She must be on drugs. Even more shocking is that her twin sister, who I had a steamy adult affair with, was also there selling her "goods."
As you can see, the isle of Manhattan is truly a place where excitement and mystery run through the streets in mariachi outfits yelling, "Hey everybody! Check us out!"

8 comments:

Crystal said...

please tell me you got a matching baby blue jacket and helmet.

Jay said...

How is it possible you don't have a girlfriend with a sweet hog like that?

yll said...

"my sweet ass ... Faggio"

I didn't realize you were gay... is that why you're having so much trouble chatting up the chickees?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Please tell me those things come in purple!

(It's for a friend.)

Hans Strongo said...

You told me your rode a poodle. I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Ryan said...

crystal - Not only do I have the matching jacket and helmet, I have matching baby blue cowboy boots as well

bp - It's too fast. They can't keep up with me to catch me.

yllw -*puts hands on hips* I'm not gay!

md - I think it only comes in Fuschia and Heliotrope, but its close enough.

hans - I ride my poodle with a sadlle on it for recreational purposes now.

v said...

Man, my comment got censored or destroyed by blogger.

Although I've forgotten the details of the comment I can assure it was hilarious.

Great post Ry-Dawg.

Diane said...

You are hilarious - I thank my lucky stars I dropped by this morning