One day I found myself in a familiar situation. Some young gal in a far away land was on my monitor and self consciously fiddling with her hair as I sent streams of innuendo into her IM window. As we chatted she wrote to me "I have something I want to show you."
Jackpot! I thought for sure I was going to see at least some side boob if not full on panty. Oh how wrong I was.
She leaned down to her left and when she returned to her previous upright position, she was holding a large pineapple. This probably sounds incredibly random to you, and it should have to me as well, but this piece of fruit sent me into a paranoid fit. You see at the time, the password I was using for my Yahoo IM name (crabbyjay, please entertain me at work) was pineapple12.
Immediately I thought of the only logical explanation for this coincidence. This woman was one of those sicko Internet hackers who was playing mind games with me.
She was holding the pineapple next to her face and smiling dubiously as I logged the fuck out of yahoo and frantically tried to figure out how to change my password before this deviant criminal used my password for evil purposes. Looking back on it now, I may have over reacted a bit because the worst she could have done was check my email and find out that I had tried more than once to respond to those penis enlargement ads.
In a brilliant attempt to find out the truth I changed my password to michaelboltonalbum. If I ever got her on her web cam again and she held up a Michael Bolton Album then I would know that she was fucking with me or just had really awful taste. Either way I would be done with her.
I logged back into yahoo with my new security system function and sent her a message saying that my Internet was disconnected for a minute. The conversation went like this.
Me: Sorry about that.
PineapplePrudence: It's ok. For a second I thought you hated my spongebob house!
Me: What?
PineapplePrudence: You know! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Me: Spongebob Squarepants.
PineapplePrudence: YAY! I LOVE Spongebob. I collect tons of Spongebob stuff.
Me: How old are you again?
PineapplePrudence: 25
*Me has just gone offline*
I guess my paranoia was more misplaced than unfounded. It's like my own kind of Spider-Sense.
12 comments:
side boob & full on panty?!!!!
i love it when you teach me all the lingo, it's priceless!
HAHA! Wow... what a freak (I mean her, not you)!
I was very worried about what she planned to do with that pineapple, and just how painful that act would be.
You should have requested a shot of her crabby patty.
WTF man? Am I the only one who thinks a young girl into even younger girl things would be a dichotomy of overt cuteness and rampant repressed sexuality? OK I probably am.
And I've been absent a while. Is it too late to request a drawing?
You can definitely make a request
jay?
ask for PineappleGirl with side boob, panty combo!
I just have one question...and I've been absent a while so you may have already told the answer....what's the "H word"???
Hmmm. I was expecting some pretty ooky things of that pineapple. I don't know what's worse. Pineapple play or loving Spongebob.
I've thought it over. Spongebob is worse.
fordyce - HE STILL WON'T TELL US!!!!!
I thought the H-word was Hymen. Not "Hi Men" as in what you say during Fleet Week, but the medical term meaning something to do w/ a gal's who-ha.
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