Not having him around the office was a great loss. Without him strolling into my room all day long to tell me bizarre things or call Oscar De LaHoya a pussy, the only reason for me to get up and come to work was the chance that my "work wife" would brush a boob against my forearm.
It is unfortunate I can not tell this story to you out loud as I feel my humble impression of his accent better conveys the hilarity that was Willie. Despite having moved here from Puerto Rico about 40 years ago, his accent was still thicker than London fog, and he often forgot the a word in English, usually during the punchline of a joke he had spent the past 10 minutes telling you.
So picture a short, energetic, bongo drum playing sixty year old Puerto Rican man with this heavy accent as I tell you this story.
One day during my lunch break, myself, my work wife (yes I feel the urge to clutch my man bag every time I say this), and two other co-workers were in my office hanging around my computer. We were looking at some old sex pictures of a girl who was on American Idol, or Survivor, or So You Think You Can Kazoo, or whatever. The point is, on my computer there was a picture of a girl with a penis in her mouth.
As we are observing and discussing said photo, Willie happens to walk by and looks in to see what all the hubbub is. Upon seeing the reality contestant engaged in her vocal exercises, the following conversation ensues:
Willie: "ooooOOOOOOOOH"
Me: Laughing
Willie: "Is like... Is like de chicken."
Me: "The chicken? what?"
Willie: "You know is like de chicken. How you say? Chicken? With de corn?"
Me:"Chicken with corn? what?"
Willie:" You know de chicken! With de corn! De Chicken!"
Willie then proceeded to open his mouth wide, lean forward and bob his head up and down, simulating a chicken eating off the ground. After realizing what he was talking about finally, this yanked a great bellowing laugh out of me that I would dare say might even be classified as a guffaw. Once he saw I got it he said "yeah! De Chicken!" And then walked down the hall laughing, Ah...Ah...Ah" like the count form Sesame Street.
For the next week Willie would walk by my door multiple times a day and say, "Hey. Hey Ryan. Ryan...Don' forget de corn. Ah... Ah...Ah."
I really need to figure out how to record something and put it up here so you can get the full experience. But, even if I can't I now plan on sharing the story he told me where he got too drunk to have sex, why he loved Derek Jeter and why he called me "Ryan de Octopus."
7 comments:
Sounds like Willie will be missed! The closest thing to an office character we have is this weird guy named Bob who always sniffs and paws over any buffet style food in the office, so that no one else wants to eat it.
It always sucks when that happens. Guys like that add texture to life. Make it interesting.
Diane - we have a guy like that at my office. Whenever food is ordered for a meeting he hovers over it and moves it all around with his grubby fingers. We call him Ryan.
Chris - Your words are true my friend. The loss of such people are unfortunate, but at least we have ridiculous stories.
hahaha... how cute! I love it that you words like hubbub. What a sweet way to remember your friend.
Ryan germs beat Bob germs any day.
RIP Willie. Let's hope his heaven is filled with female hosts of Sabado Gigante's past, chickening his corn all day long.
I hope all the events in that story are connected. I have a vague (and disturbing) idea of how drunkenness, Derek Jeter, and you being an called an octopus could work, but I'll await the spoken account.
Post a Comment