Friday, December 9

Randomness

I hate when bands have music videos that are just them playing. How boring is that? We all know what it looks like when someone is playing an instrument by now. Be creative! Make a story to your song. Say one about a guy who has to fight Ninjas and alligators to make his way home to his beloved cheese sandwich.

I'm tired of rappers telling people to get the party started. They have all that bling they can pay for the hats and the cake and get it started their fucking selves.

There is a hot new Arab rapper about to explode onto the scene named Chocolate Sheikh

If I was a superhero my power would be explosive lactation. I would be called Captain Calcium or The Pasteurizer and say things like "Evil your expiration date is today!"

My friend asked to borrow some CDs. I told them they could SEE DEEZ NUTS! lmao @ me!

If I was stuck on an island and could only have one book, one movie and one song, I would kill myself with a conch shell.

I want to have a Snowball, Acorn, or Itchy Ball fight.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about when I menion Itchy Balls?

One night I took a bite out of the bottom half of my brothers leg. It was the worst veal I ever tasted.

Here's another Albert Fish butt eating related drawing

5 comments:

Becky said...

I like how you blacked out Albert's eyes so it really looked like he was sleeping.
As always, you crack me up Ryan. I'd like to show the world your blog, and then share a coke with them also.

Jay said...

I'm not a fan of those "watch me sing" videos, either. I would, however, be more likely to watch them stand around and sing if they were on fire.

Ryan said...

That is genius. I'd be very entertained by a concert video if the mascara was being burned off their faces as they sang

CozyMama said...

uhhh, not sure what to say....

Anonymous said...

That was some of the funniest shit I have ever read. I don't know what you do for a living, but you're in the wrong field. You should write your own magazine.

...and you're right, rappers should get their own damn parties started!