Thursday, February 16

a New Low

Today I will divulge some helpful info to you dudes. It's a lifeskill that everyone should know if they hope to get by these days and be successfull.

Vagina Jokes.

Everybpdy needs them. Everybody loves them. At some point you're going to run into a lady person who you don't particularly like because she is mean or refuses to let you touch her boobies. When this situation presents itself, you must be prepared because the one time women are always funny is when they are ripping a man to shreds.

So here are some lines about female genitalia that any man or woman can use if faced with a screaming harpy.

- Your vagina is so large, fingering you is like trying to get the prize from the bottom of a ceral box.

- Last time I saw a hole that big, Evil Knievel was jumping over it.

- Last time I saw a hole that big, they were lowering my grandmothers corpse into it.

- Your underpants filter more tuna vapors than the air vents at Starkist.

- Your vagina is so large, I could reach in and wave Hi to your pancreas.

- Your vagina is SOOO large, Shaqueal O'neal went to kick you in the crotch, and his foot got stuck.

- Your vagina is so large, there is a tollboth outside of it.

I could go on, but I'm completely disgusted and appalled with myself right now. Feel free to add your own and join in the self loathing

24 comments:

0000 said...

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Erm...is it wrong that I'm laughing?

*Trying to think of man-part jokes*

Becky said...

Oh hell naw......

Well you penis is so small that one time....

damn! give me a minute.

Anonymous said...

Your penis is so small that if you made a porno it would be rated G

Your vagina is so cold & dry, you could store microfilm in it.

Anonymous said...

Your vagina stinks so bad, a dolphin got caught in your pantyhose.

Shavonne said...

Funny. I don't have any vagina jokes.

Ryan said...

donuts wins

Anonymous said...

Woohoo! What's my prize?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Your vagina is so big it feels like fucking a warm bucket of water.

And it looks like half a pound of sliced roast beef.

Chief Scientist said...

I didn't use the word 'vagina' for two whole days and my chick let me spend a half hour making fun of Tom Cruise. She's pretty good like that.

v said...

your vagina is so big they call it a vaginormous.

::shrugs::

that's the best I can do.

Jay said...

You're pussy is so used it looks like someone threw an oily rag on a clothesline.

Jay said...

oops. I mean vagina.

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Ryan said...

lol jesus

I'm going to have to do this more often

Sunrise said...

YOUR VAGINA IS SO BIG THEY CALL IT AWESOME!

Anonymous said...

your vagina is so big it is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

Anonymous said...

hot dog down a hallway? soooooooo old.

Anonymous said...

Like a pea downt the high streeet!

Anonymous said...

am i the only who thinks these are terrible lol

Anonymous said...

Your vagina is so big, it looks like a catcher's mitt!

Anonymous said...

"If that's a vagina, the Grand Canyon's a ditch!!!"

"You call that a vagina? I've seen better looking whiskers on the face of a walrus!!!"

Anonymous said...

Her vagina's so wide, it's like throwing a sewing needle down the interstate!!!

Anonymous said...

She's so nasty, when I asked her what's for dinner, she spread her legs and yelled "CRABS!!!"

Her pussy's so nasty, she needs Drain-O to douche!!!