Tuesday, November 15

10 Things You Didn't Know About Ted Danson

1. The United States government ordered Ted Danson to dye his hair grey and shave it so it looks like he is balding because too many women were going into sex-fueled frenzies at the sight of him.
2. Ted Danson's chest hair feels like satin.
3. One time one the set of Cheers Woody harrelson tried to be funny and said, "Why the long face?" to Ted Danson. Ted immediately delivered a devastating palm strike to Woody's soloplexus (or was it bowflexus?) that has caused him excessive and constant pain since. This is why Woody Harrelson smokes so much weed.
4. I have a shirt with this picture of Ted Danson on it. Underneath this picture it says "You make me Feel Like Danson." I have pictures to prove this!
5. Ted Danson's wife, actress Mary Steenburgen star of Back to the Future 3, had a titanium hip put in so she could handle sexy intercourse with her husband. Even with this improvement, Ted Danson still leaves dents.
6. Ted Danson cruises Yahoo chat rooms under the screen name ted_danson47 and asks young women, "Have you ever been Teabagged by an Emmy winner?" (I'm serious! PM him!)
7. Ted Danson was the inspiration for the song "Whatta Man" after having a menage a ocho with En Vogue, Salt, Pepa and Spinderella.
8. Ted Danson does not like Ketchup, but he loves Catsup.
9. Ted Danson is the only person on the planet who looks good in a pair of BluBlockers
10. The people of Easter Island worship Ted Danson as a god. This is why they have carved so many stone statues of his head across their land.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

i want your loins
LOINS LOINS LOINS
there was this scooby doo episode where the pirates kept saying COIN
so that is why i say this strange things.

you + re fellow ledge head,
bigfatwhore

RevRee said...

Bwhahahahaha Where do you come up with this? I love it!

Becky said...

This is classic, I'm going to link this up to my post today! Awesome!

CozyMama said...

OMG, your hilarious, becky said to check you out. glad I did.