Happy Birthdays!

Two Birthday celebrations took place today.

The first was for my oldest and one of my best friends Johnny. I've known Johnny all of my life. In honor of his day of birthing I will share a story about Johnny.

You'd never know it from talking to him now, but when John was younger he was pretty mental. One day for some reason, probably at the urging of his brother and his friends, Johnny became an exhibitionist.

He had to be around 8 years old at the time. He took off all of his clothes, grabbed two slices of bread and ran out his door. Johnny headed down his block made a right, and crossed the street to our neighbors house. They had three daughters, one our age, one older and another younger. Johnny knocked on the door and waited.

The door opened and the girls mother was standing there probably in shock as she looked down and saw Johnn there naked, smiling at her and holding two pieces of bread around his genitalia. As if this wasn't enough he then said , "hey! How bout a bologna sandwich!" Then he quickly turned around and ran home.

You can see why he and I are such good friends.

In fact, if he threw a party and invited everyone he knew. He would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say, "Thank you for being a Friend." Dun dun dun dunn dun dunnnnnn.

I don't know how accurate it is but there is a Golden Girls anniversary special on right now. 20 years of the hilarious quartet of elderly and lusty ladies! I loved and still love this show so damn much. When I get married I want to Honeymoon in St. Olaf.

To celebrate this momentous occasion I am creating a new slang word. If something is really bad, instead of using my usual, "Man dat shit is wack yo," I am going to now say, "That is totally Zbornac!!"

Use it. Live it. Love it.