If I could choose the way I will die, I would just keep procrastinating.
If that didn't work, I would choose to die while stabbing foreigners in the face with an American Flag. I would also settle for the band Foreigner.
If animals could talk, my favorite animal actress would be Puma Thurman. (ugh)
If I found a magic lamp and a genie came out and told me he would grant me three wishes, there would be a lot of nervous Canadians.
If I were to get self-motivated and really put my mind to it, I would probably be exhausted all the time.
If I were a woman, I would want to be fingerbanged by Eddie Van Halen
If I could think of something interesting to write, you wouldn't have had to read this worthless crap today.
If you don't check out my friend's blog Poohat and the 10 billion years before the sun blew up!, you will miss out on weirdness and funnyness and weirdness and really bitchin art. Also your feet will melt off.
5 comments:
Nervous Canadians and stabbing the band Foreigner in the face with the US flag.
That is some funny shit.
Hey, if you switched it from Foreigner to Loverboy, you could kill two birds with one stone.
Funny. Last night we were just singing the southpark movie themesong, "Blame Canada."
And the lovely bridge, "Their not even a real country anyway."
lovin that you put eddie in your post.
I'm convinced you carry around a notebook and record your wacky thoughts into a mini tape recorder. While you on the subway. naked. Wearing nothing but a tool belt that contains six different scents of Febreeze.
HEY THANKS NEW YORK FOR THIS CHANCE
TO BE CULTURED! THIS IS AWESOME!
IM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BEAST RIGHT NOW...I'll tell you a story about
CANADA, have you ever collected vinyl?
Yeah I know in the states you can get everything, fleetwood mac rumors, Burton cummings, billy Joel glass houses... But in Canada all you can get is LOVER BOY AND HEART! So we dont collect vinyl up here anymore , we just listen to 8-tracks and line dance.
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