Today is a monumental day. It is the first day of David Lee Roth's morning radio show. He is the replacement for Howard Stern in several markets now that Howard is on Sirius radio.This show may be the worst thing ever broadcast in the history of media. There is a depressing factor of 10 as I am hearing a guy who was the biggest rock star on the planet doing commercials for Dial A Mattress.
David Lee Roth is obviously brain damaged and not afraid to show it off. It's so bad I can't help but be entertained. Diamond Dave, who comes across as Gary Busey on Nitrous Oxide, seems to love to impart deep and meaningful wisdom to his listeners. I have decided to put it into poetry form.
Behold the new sensation soon to be sweeping the nation....
ROTHKU!
Everytime you put on New York 1 there's a dalmation goin take me baby, take me
My strength is lifting people.
I live on the lower east side where there's nothin but scared horses
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A lot of school kids have lesbians for moms and dads
I been places with my face you wouldnt go with a pistol
I been places with my face you wouldnt go with a pistol
Two girls and a toaster oven, seriously.
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Bang a track homey... like it owes you money
Make it happen, Captain.
Make it happen, Captain.
I alone am the master of the flying curtain rod.
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When you buy a horse or a boat it's only yours for the first 20 minutes.
You learn what the stump means if you want chicken for dinner.
No metaphysics before happy hour.
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Last time I looked the Bible is written in the same language as my pornography
I wouldn't give you my coffee for that
My god is a fierce and vengeful comedian.
There will be more of this when I can bring myself to listen again.
9 comments:
oh boy, I think I need to go take a shower now and wash off the stench of reading that.....What is he thinking? THanks for the warning Ryan. Good post as always bro.
Ryan are you serious?!? This makes me want to do a DLR kick right to his face!
David Lee Roth in
Radio is almost as
Sad as Dave Coulier
Doing Skating With
Celebrities in Mary-
Kate and Ash's shadow
After reading that, I have decided to subsribe to Sirius Satellite Radio. You and Dave should get commission from the sale.
That was so bad I think it gave me cancer.
Maybe it's just me but I'd like to hear the ramblings of a fried has-been who still thinks he's hip.
I don't feel tardy.
I do believe that Diamond Dave will be short lived if he can't adapt to the fast pace of live radio.
You would think that they would have given him some rehearsals or a mentor to show him the radio ropes before turning him loose on the air.
Jodes - Use olive oil shampoo. It rules my face... and hair I guess.
Beck - Im sad you posted something without badmouthing crystal
idle - that is haiku at it's finest. I am going to send it to people and claim it as my own
donuts - lol. I didn't even mention the large portions of time dedicated to parenting advice and old war stories from his Uncle Manny Roth
Bill - it is entertaining in the same way a car crash is for sure.
blu - You are right. The show is already dead in the water I think.
It is the strangest broadcast I have ever heard. Why anyone would want to listen to a reggae song at 7 AM with him screaming along in the background is beyond me.
Crystal buys her underware at garage sales.
Why is everyone always picking on me? Ryan - I am bothered by the fact that you find gratification in my pain. And Becky - no more ham sammies for you!
So what if I buy my underwear at garage sales? The new clorox bleach pen gets out all the stains. Well, almost all of them. If you just buy the darker colored underwear, no one will notice the skids.
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