For example, a while back I was applying for a job at Barnes and Nobles. I had nearly finished filling out the application when I got to the "Special Skills" section. It said to list any special skills or information that would be relevant to the position I was applying for.
Being the unthinking mongoloid that I am, I thought I would be funny and wrote in "A 4th grade reading level"... cause its a bookstore...GET IT? ...ugh.
I didn't get the job.
Another time where my uncontrollable urge to say something extremely stupid got me into trouble was when I was transferring colleges. I was switching to a City run university which required some kind of aptitude test for transferring students because my previous school was too expensive for me to play basketball in the gym with African dudes instead of going to class.
Half of the test was writing an essay where I would state whether I was for or against boys and girls going to separare schools. No problem! I wrote out a thoughtful and incisive essay in the proper format on the con side of the gender segregation.
As I wrote the conclusion to end the essay, the Jackass hemisphere of my brain began to fight for power in my skull.
I thought up a line to end the paper with that I thought, at the time, would be hysterical to anyone who read it. After several minutes of inner debate and erasing and rewriting, I got up and handed in the written portion of my test which ended like this.
"For the reasons I believe both genders should attend the same schools and classes. Also, I ain't no fag!"
I spent the next semester in Remedial English.
12 comments:
Maybe it would have gone over better if you put "lol" ot ;) or :) or :0 or :} after your written jokes.
lol.
See. You may have thought I was serious if i didn't type "lol" after my comment. It really works. Thank God for the creator of face-typing.
I was reading a book for class that was "used" ...the chapter about "the nudes" in classic art was outlined by the previous person's notes. I kid you not...this person had written "lol" over the entire section. I guess he finds private parts funny too.
Who does that? Besides Ryan. I would of hired you dude.
Innapropriate comments rule my face.
I'm actually much funnier than I think I am. Sometimes people won't go beyond the humorous exterior because I am so funny and I get sad about that. And then I curl up in the corner and curse fate for making me too sexy to be loved.
HAHAHAHAH, Damn that is some funny crap! Hey, I've been to Barnes & Noble and most of the employees I come across don't even seem to have a G.E.D. much less a 4th grade reading level. I think you outsmarted them with that joke and that's why they didn't hire you. Plus they probably thought you were a fag.
LOL J.K.
I think you didn't get the B&N job because having a 4th grade reading level actually makes you overqualified. Zing!
Mostly I'm just proud of you for posting a Judy Blume book.
leave off the last s for
"THERE AINT NO S AT THE END OF BARNESANDNOBLE"
yo ghetto fag, it aint "sizzlers"
just like it aint "burger kings"
mmm we should go out to eat.
I'm diggin Bill's Idea, How about a little chat speak?
UR HOTT, I SEX U GOOD
LMAO
ROFLMAO
ASL PLZ
Just to state a few...
hehehe
eventually you'll figure out the timing thing. meanwhile, be prepared to be unemployed and uneducated for a while longer.
Dude, you're funny. Screw anyone that says otherwise.
Excuse me now ... it's peanut butter jelly time.
Geez. You did it again. I can't stop laughing.
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